Tuesday, February 10, 2009

After Sex Deep Thoughs 6

As most of my readers know, I was laid off in the Fall. I have no been unemployed for almost 6 months. Crazy I know.

It hasn't been all that bad. I've been job hunting but to no avail. The economy is a scary scary place right now. I am thankful to God that my husband's job has proved somewhat stable so far. Although they have cut back hours one day a week for all the workers for the next 5 weeks. Better than getting laid off though.

So last night after our weekly tango dance, I thought about our future.

There is no way what so ever, that we'll be able to keep our home once my unemployment runs out in July. Our bills are high, because they were supported by duel incomes. Our mortgage is also high because we bought during the peak of property values and also had a 2 year fixed rate that went variable a little over a year ago. So we were involved what has been dubbed "the mortgage crisis". Thankfully our mortgage company worked with us and reset the rate down from 11% to a 8%. Still very high. But our property value has dropped about 30,000 so we can't even refinance.

The long and short of it is, we're going to lose our house come summer time if I haven't found a job. I know I have another 6 months. But I've been job hunting for 6 months already.. it went by fast, and I've gotten no where.

The other night hubs and I had the talk. The "what are we going to do and what's our game plan" talk.

Our decision is that by June, we're going to start making preparations. We'll call the mortgage company, put the condo on the market for way below value, and most likely be involved in some sort of partial foreclosure.

And it hurts to say that.

We have no other option.

We then plan to move up north. To my parents house... Yikes huh? I'm 30 with a child and an almost complete MBA and we have to move home.

I do somewhat feel like a colossal failure. But I know this isn't my fault. The economy has crashed, I can't control the circumstances around us. It is what it is. And I have to accept that.

I am eternally and lovingly grateful to my parents for the support and the help they have given us over the last 6 months. Without them, I don't know what we'd do.

They're house is not huge, but the entire upstairs is unoccupied and consists of two very large and long rooms. There is enough space to give Rowan a large bedroom and playroom, as well as a living room and bedroom for us. They have a nice yard..on a quaint street. It truly is beautiful up there. And its a simple life compared to the seacoast "city" we live in now. There isn't much crime. There are no drugs or scary gun yielding children. Well, unless its hunting season of course.. during which time the local high school holds after school hunting classes haha.

Its peaceful. And its where I grew up, and most likely belong.

I have made the decision to completely entrust my future in God's hands. What happens is up to him, and Barney and I are going to follow the path he lays out before us with grace and acceptance.

Barney will have a long commute... and hour and half each way. My father has done that for 20 something years now... and you get used to it. It will be a big a change for him. He grew up here... and he'll miss him home town. But I think in the long run, he'll love it up there. There are plenty of race tracks around... and the outdoor activities abound... we'll only be a 1/2 hour from Lake Winnapausaukee... and there are tons of mountains for hiking and other beautiful lakes for swimming and boating. I think it'll get us away from sitting on the couch and watching TV and into a more active lifestyle. Never a bad thing.

My parents also have a pool.. I can see summers being fun. :) Maybe I can build Rowan a tree house.

I have no idea how permanent or temporary this is going to be. We've decided to go into it blindly and just let the future unfold before us without having to plan it out. After all, all our planning has proved to be useless anyhow in the face of what has happened.

I will stay home with Rowan of course. I plan on trying to find a part time job on nights and maybe a weekend shift so that I can contribute to the housely expenses. But mostly I want to be able to take care of the house for my parents.

My mother has MS, she struggles with it daily. She's tired, and drained. She wants to live peacefully now and enjoy things in the light of the hand that fate has dealt her, and I can't say I blame her. I want to take care of the stupid things for her, so she doesn't have to.

So that's our big plan. Its a bit scary but we've both grown to accept it. And as I mentioned, we're prepared to follow the path that God sends us in.


Katrina said...

That's a lot to be going through but atleast it seems you're looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything always happens for a reason and things will get better.

And to continue looking at the bright side of things-- how amazing would it be to have Rowan grow up where we did? We had pretty fabulous childhoods.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope everything works out!

Anabelle said...

its scary.. its frustruating.. but at the same time perhaps its a chapter of our lives we have to live through. And yes.. having Rowan home would be awesome. I'm already daydreaming of tricycle rides up and down the road... and sledding at the duck pond :)

we'll be closer too wont' we? about 1/2 hour?

Katrina said...

Yes, I was thinking the same thing but didn't want to sound selfish. We would be able to have playdates all the time-- you could come enjoy the beach with us and the walking trails in our community!

Anabelle said...

not selfish at all.. i'll get pretty lonely and could definitly use a friend!