Saturday, February 28, 2009

Things that make you go hmmmm

I was up late last night, I couldn't sleep. This resulted in me eventually crashing and apparently doing so into a very deep sleep. I don't often dream anymore. I don't know if its because I sleep so deeply that I don't remember my dreams, or if it's that I sleep so poorly I never get to that stage of sleep.

Either way, last night I had a dream.

I dreamt I had a huge throbbing hard and erect penis.

I'll give you a few minutes to absorb that.

In my dream, I was still a woman. In fact I was even laying in bed next to my husband. Once he realized I had a throbbing hard on, he made some sort of comment about controlling my libido (much like the comments I make to him when I notice he himself is sporting wood)

I scoffed at him... and I rolled over onto my stomach only to be dismayed at how I now had a hard long object jammed up against my belly sandwiched between me and the bed.

And it was flippin annoying.

I sat there cursing my penis... and how uncomfortable I was with this erection. How I wished it would go away knowing full well there was only one way to make it disappear.

And I wished my husband was a bit more sympathetic to my condition....doesn't he know how uncomfortable this is? He could help... but he chooses not too.

And then in my dream... I think to myself... oooooohhhhhhh.... my poor husband. How annoying must it be when I pull out the "I got a headache card".

Its horrible having a penis. Poor guy.

Thank God I have a vagina.

(imagine the porn surfing googlers I'll get now, as if my after sex deep thoughts segments weren't already drawing them)

Friday, February 27, 2009


So I have that handy dandy thing over there on the left that tells me that people are visiting my blog. I see you coming on in all stealth like without saying anything.

Come on! I demand a hi.. a hello.. a hey I checked out your blog.

I'm attention starved.. humor me!

Finally a finished project - I reveal.. My pillow!!!

I finally finished something! yahoo!

I love it.. but who wouldn't love it after all that work!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

After Sex Deep Thoughts 8

Its hard to believe I've been chronicling my after sex thoughts now the last 2 months haha.

Anyhoodle.. last night I started reading my book again once hubs and I stopped talking and he fell asleep.

I've been reading Ishmael as I quickly noted earlier in the week. Its an interesting book and its really gotten me thinking about the human condition, and why we are in the place we are in.

I won't spoil the book be revealing to much, but I will mention that it goes into a lot of the reasons why humans don't live the same way an animal live, and the history of how we have gotten to the place we are in today.

It scares me. And like every generation it leaves me worrying about the world we'll leave to our children. Its so easy for us to say, Oh, they'll deal with it. But I don't want my baby to have to deal with anything. I want her to just live happily and healthily until she's old and content.

This got me to thinking about life, and how it will progress. And then I thought about my worst fear. The day Rowan moves out.

My goodness, this will happen someday. She will someday move out of our home. It'll just end up being Boo and I again....and she'll go off and create her own life. I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!
Is it wrong that I should want to keep her all to myself forever? What will we do at night? What about our walks around the block and playing at the playground?

Last night we lay snuggling in bed talking about Rowan. Boo mentioned that he can't remember at all what it was like before she came into our lives. "What did we do?" he asked. I giggled... and I said.."um... lots of this"

In all seriousness though, it wasn't an unhappy life. I told him we went for walks, we dreamed about the future, we went on Sunday morning drives, and late night snack runs to the cumby's across the street. We rented movies, we drank lots of beer and wine. We did what ever our heart desired, because we could.

But now that we've tasted the other side, the side with a child, can you really go back to being two people alone? I can't imagine it. I can't imagine a single day in my life with out Rowan there with us.

And this makes me sad... because I know I only have 15 short years left... just 15.

We're on vacation mama

Monday morning I asked Rowan if she'd liked to go outside and play.. she said "no mama.. I stay inside.. watch movie.. I on vacation."

It was quite hysterical. Today its warm out, and we'll be going outside in a bit so Rowan can ride her tricycle. But this mornign we did a little project that she had picked out. I remember doing these with my mom as a kid.. so it meant alot to me.. and the smell of it in the oven brought back alot of memories. I hope she thinks of me someday when she does this with her own children. :)

Dear Ann and Barney - a letter from meme

Dear Ann and Barney,
I want to tell you how much we enjoyed you all and especialy Rowan. Frank said "boy I like her."
That says the way we felt after you left.

Frank told me also the conversation about selling your condo and eventually moving to the Lebanon area where Ann comes from.
I think the Lord is directing you in that direction. You Barney have a good trade now. You will find work there. I beleive there is a job waiting for Ann there. And Rowan will make it any place, with that personality.

Rowan kept popping into my mind for the two days after she left. I love that little girl. You can't help it! See how she was willing to help get the table set, trip after trip, that means she is going to be a good worker. She knew she was working not playing, intelligent too!
Frank likes the drive to Dartmouth area for my chochlar. So we will visit you there.
Alli n all it was an enjoybale visit and informative one. Once Frank relayed whaqt I did not hear.

I'm happy for you both for the plan, and i'm sure Ann's parents are also.

Think spring and God keep you all save until then.

We love you,
Frank and Meme

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The flu shot

Wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Rowan simply said "That hurts! I want to go byebyes now."

Her face got a bit red with aggitation.. she picked out a Dora sticker and we headed to Target.


Bullet point thoughts

. Headed to the doc to get Rowan a flu shot. The local news 2 nights ago did a special about how the flu is running rampant in the state this year... ugh.. i'm so NOT looking foward to this. She's gonna be super pissed at me.

. Last night Rowan stayed up late (gotta love vacation)... and then when hubs and I went up to bed she insisted on climbing in with us. She stayed very quiet so hubs could sleep.. but she stayed awake with me while I read. The two of us lay cuddled up together whispering back and forth beneath the bluish milky light of my book light.
She kept telling me how she loved me and how she was playing with her babies, while I kept saying.. shhhhh Daddy is sleeping.

. I just started reading Ishmael. Which my sister gave to me 2 Christmas's ago. She insisted it was one of the best books she'd ever read and therefore bought one for everyone in the family. I must admit, so far its pretty darn good. It challenges the way you chose to exist in the world. I read half of it last night. And will most likely finish it tonight. I highly suggest reading it.

Rowan's Afghan - Jan Eaton Squares

These are the Jan Eaton squares I've made for Rowan's Afghan. In fact I love her squares so much Rowan's afghan may end up being bigger than originally planned :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mud Puddles

It is most certainly not a warm enough day for jumping in puddles, but you try to tell that to a toddler (or a 30 year old man for that matter).

You've got an awful lot of Ink for someone so young

When I worked at restaurant in my younger days.... the name of this post is something one of our distributors said to me. I had no idea what he meant... I was that naive... he laughed at me... and pointed out my tattoos. Ohhhhhh yeah... yeah I do.

I have always been an avid lover of art. My senior year in high school I lived in the art room. I painted, drew, did pottery, you name it.

The transition into getting my first tattoo and "expressing" my 18 year old self was pretty easy. I'll never forget sitting in LA Ink (a Laconia biker tattoo shop) and picking out my first tattoo. I had drawn an Alien face, but the artist told me it would need to be a LARGE tattoo in order to preserve all the details. Thank goodness he talked me out of it. So instead, I have a random gecko..??? ahh well, he's a happy little fella climbing up my calf.

I later got a sun tattoo on the top part of my arm. It has no meaning other than I liked it. During my second tattoo, (another tribal looking sun) I had them also put a swirl inside the 1st sun tattoo because everyone asked me if it was the Godsmack sun ugh.

My third tattoo was a tramp stamp if you will. It's on my lower back and its a Celtic knot work shamrock. My sister had gotten the same tattoo a few years prior and I fell in love with the design then. When I called her the day I had it done, she called me an asshole. Apparently she wasn't that pleased with the sentiment of sharing a sisterly tattoo haha ahh well, that's my sister for you.

My fourth tattoo was quite a long time later. This tattoo was something I put alot of thought into. And in fact, I designed it myself. I wanted it to look like a henna tattoo and it's on my foot. Everyone that sees it during the summer always complements me on the henna art. At which point I explain that its real. Its my favorite one... and someday I'll have another design done on my other foot.

The last tattoo I got was a cute little 50's pin-up inspired rubber ducky. My daughter loved rubber duckies as a child. Probably because I have always been into them and had collected quite a few to display in her room. We also decorated her room in a duck theme when she was an infant. She had no choice but to like them. Beneath the tattoo is her name. It resides on my flabby belly. To remind me why the belly is flabby and so that I will always be thankful for that flab, because with it, came the greatest love of my life. My daughter.


I know its hard to see in a photo.. but if you look closely you'll see the obsurd amount of grey hair I have coming in with my roots (need a dye job soon.

I'm 30 people.. how is it that I have so much flippin grey?

Monday, February 23, 2009

What happens when a toddler skips her nap

After we got home from the Museum today, we attempted to get Rowan to nap. But she refused. Instead.. around 5pm.. just two hours before bedtime, she crashed on the couch. At 7 we brought her up to bed.... she'll be up at 4 tomorrow and I'm going to regret it!

I heart Jan Eaton

I haven't been able to stop making this square! I plan on turning these into a throw pillow and then perhaps I'll even make a nice hand bag out of them :)


I'm sure you're thinking.. wow... her daughter can draw pretty good for a 3 year old.

But no.. this is not my daughter's art work..... tis my husband's.

This would be Spongebob, Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Crab

Children's Museum of NH

The Children's Museum of NH is always a fun time! We headed over today as Barney had the day off and so did our friend Ryry (my BFF) and her daughter Lily (Rowan's BFF).

The girls had a great time playing! And damn they be cute!

and of course here is some funny Youtube goodness.. my hubs is a goof.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Jan Eaton Crochet blocks

I got my Jan Eaton book today in the mail and I couldn't wait to get started on the Willow square which I've been admiring on ravelry in the Jan Eaton group. I love the block and I plan on making a crazy mulit colored pillow to match my crazy multi colored afghan :)

Willow blocks

New block for my afghan.

Amazing Grace

Service today was exceptionally moving.

We had a guest Pastor as Pastor Mark had gone on vacation with his wife.

The pastor that spoke is a member of our congregation and also a retired pastor himself. Although his face was severe with age, his voice and countenance were surprisingly and refreshingly kind.

The gist of his sermon spoke of being the baton barrers of our Christian faith. Of running the good race, and passing the word of God's love for us all.

The part that moved me to tears was a story he told about a young man that had belonged to his church during WWII. The young man had graduated college as a journalist... and had been sent to London to report on the war.

He got London and checked into his hotel. It was a tumultuous time... and during his first night there, he was witness to what was called The Blitz.

As soon as night fell, chaos broke out and bombs began to fall upon the city. There was fire everywhere, ambulances screaming through the streets, buildings falling and crumbling. Women weeped and children cried.

The young man fell to his knees. He prayed to God to take his life. He prayed that he could not live in a world of such indifference and suffering and hate.

He fell asleep to sound of pain all around him.

He awoke to much different sound.

Across the street from the hotel, and in view of his window, was a church. It no longer had a roof. There were small fires and smoldering remains of rooms and debris around it. And in the center of the beheaded church, sat the congregation. They sang "The Church's One Foundation."

The young man dropped back down to his knees... and he prayed and thanked The Lord for sparing his life. For there was hope even in the war he had found himself in the middle of. And he was heartened to remember that God loved him.

The pastor continued to speak of how God loves us all. And that even in the midst of our struggles, we must remember he remains by our side.

Perhaps it just struck a cord with me because of the changes occurring in my own life. About the imminent loss of our home, and the large move we face an hour and a half away back to the town I grew up in. It's all a bit scary, a bit overwhelming a bit exciting... yet it's much easier to face when I remember that I don't' walk alone. I have my family, my husband.. my amazing daughter, and I have my God. Faithfully by my side. Ready and willing to love me if only I ask for his help.

The service ended with us singing Amazing Grace...... and I cried again.

Friday, February 20, 2009

New Square

This square makes me so happy. I love love love this color combination. I stole it from one of my inspiration pics... but the square I got off of here.

Here is snapshot of all the 12 inch squares I've done. I can't decide if the two squares on the left will end up in the Ghan... but they may.. depends on how it looks when I get to the end :)

Walmart Comparison

I did a little price checking today on the items I bought at Shaws just because I was a little currious.

Betty Crocker Cake Mix - 1.79 - shaws Card off .54 Total 1.25 (always 1.25 at Walmart)

Betty Crocker Frosting - 2.19 - shaws Card off .52 Total 1.67 (1.54 at Walmart)

Betty Crocker Cookie Mix 2.19 - Shaws Card off .52 Total 1.67 (1.72 at Walmart)
Pills Choc Chip Cookies 3.59 - Shaws Card 1.09 - coupon .5 Total 2.00 (2.06 At Walmart)
Pill Choc Chip Cookies 3.69 - Shaws Savings 1.19 - coupon .5 Total 2.00 (2.38 at Walmart)
Grands Bisquits 2.50 - 1.25 Shaws Card - coupon .25 Total 1.00 (1.62 at Walmart)

I just thought it was interesting that most of the prices were almost the same before using a coupon at all. Granted at Shaw's I did earn that 10 dollars off your next purchase coupon, but its definitly not worth shopping there unless I'm going after that deal.

Bio Diesel and Burger King

Bio Diesel is going to make the world fat.

My father in law makes bio diesel. Kudos to him because the science and the know how that goes into making it are absolutely incredible. His garage has been taken over by contraptions, tubing, nozzles and weird round spinning drums.

He runs his vehicles off of it and even heats his home after he purchased an alternative fuel furnace. (Don't even ask how much that cost)

He also has a diesel generator.

Basically, as far as gas and fuel go.. he is "off the grid". And I think its awesome.

He makes his fuel by collecting used fry oil from around the area. Back in the day when I ran a restaurant, we paid a company to come take our used oil away. Now the tables have turned. If its not free to have it hauled off, then someone else is paying you for it.

My FIL has a pretty competitive ring of business's he collects from. He started early before everyone else started making it. And I doubt they do it on the scale that he does... (roughly 200 gallons at a time).

His garage now smells like Burger King.. with Dunkin Donuts undertones.

The scent wafts through the air when you visit his house... its the oil that spills on the driveway at times... and completely cakes the floor of his garage... when you walk into the garage, your feet slide and stick.

I was behind a bio diesel car the other day on the highway. I knew because it had one of those fancy boastful stickers..."this car runs on bio-diesel"

But before I even saw the sticker.. I knew because I smelled Burger King... and I immediately started to salivate and wanted a burger instead of my slim fast shake.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

You must check these things out

First.. go check out my work on display here.

And secondly... go find out how to get a 25 dollar gift card to a restaurant of your choice for 3 bucks.. I'm not kidding.. i've got one printed out and hung up on my fridge right now!


I always get a bit nostalgic around Rowan's birthday. The thought that she'll be three in 2 short months completely blows my mind. It didn't help that hubs and I had the maybe baby 2 convo last night. It wont' be for a while, but the conversation took place either way.

anyhoodle.. I updated Rowan's month by month slide show today.. and thought I'd share. It still feels like 2 days ago that she was born.. its crazy!