Reason # 101 Why I love My Husband

A heart.. etched in ice and snow... on the driver's side window of my car.

Late Night Musings - An expanded post

So Elissa found my comments this morning about my After Sex Deep Thoughts post, quite amusing. Particularly the bit about my black lover with the long shlong that nearly killed me. She laughed even harder when I told her the rest of the story.. so I thought I'd share with all.

Said gentleman was another man I met online. He was a single Dad, accountant, with an obsession with collecting DVDs. Literally went to the store every Tuesday to pick up the latest releases.

Overall though, we had fun on our dates.

Our last date was at his apartment where we snuggled on his couch and watched a couple of his new movies... don't ask me which, I can't remember.. I do remember one of them was scary and I hate scary movies.. way to sucker the girl into holding onto you tight.

Anyhoodle... we snuggled... and about half way through the 2nd movie, things got a little steamy.

We headed off to his bedroom where things got... err... hot and heavy.

The story takes a turn for the comical at the end of our evening's... ummm... activities??

Mr. Well hung was coming towards the end of his... rope... to put it delicately... and at the moment of his glorious finish.... his mouth opened in exasperation.... and out flew the blob of double mint spearmint gum he had been chewing.

Why gum in the mouth during sex??? I don't know.. I never asked.

Anyhoodle.... said piece of gum came flying out of his mouth... and hit me in the back of the head.... (I feel as though I've given to much information with that description but I don't know how else to say it)

Of course my long flowing curly red hair was down... and thus it engulfed the mass of sticky chewing gum completely.... and I heard.. "Oh shit, my gum" as if I hadn't noticed.

We both embarrassingly laughed... cleaned up...got dressed, and guilty Mr. Well Hung had to cut the offensive piece of sticky mess out of my hair before I shamefully drove home to the awaiting half ex husband.

It rocked.

The next day I shot him an email. As mentioned the sex in and of itself was extremely painful. I don't know if it was just his gargantuan size, or the fact that I had endometriosis (and therefore a sensitive cervix)... but I could never go through such pain again.

I told him politely that his anatomy was a bit more than I could handle comfortably, and therefore I was going to have to regretfully decline seeing him again.

His email was back was understanding. He asked if he could use our email on his online profile as a joke to lure woman... I granted permission with a smile... and the then thanked me for the best breakup excuse ever... and we parted ways.

Thus ends the story of Mr. Well Hung.

New Year - New diet

Well it's that time of year again when people set resolutions, and as usual, one of mine is to lose weight.

6 days ago I started the South Beach diet. I've done it before many times and its always helped me lose weight. I'm hoping this time, I can stick to it to get long term results.

It works by eating a very low carb diet. You can eat lean meats, legumes of all kinds and veggies as long as its not potato, corn, carrot or yams.

Its really not to bad, and after a few days the carb addiction is gone and I'm eatting only when hungry.

Here is what I've consumed today.

Breakfast: Three scrambled eggs topped with fat free cheddar, three slices of turkey bacon.

Snack: Tablespoon of peanut butter topped with a few sprays of canned whip cream.

Lunch: A romaine salad, topped with light red kidney beans, fat free cheddar, feta cheese, sunflower seeds for crunch and spray raspberry vinaigrette.

Snack: Two hard boiled eggs and a blop of low fat cottage cheese.

Dinner: Sauteed chicken breast topped with tomato sauce and fat free mozzarella.. and a mound of steamed broccoli and green beans spritzed with spray butter and dusted with Parmesan cheese.

Sounds yummy eh? It really isn't that bad, and I feel healthful at the end of the day. I've lost 5 lbs already. You always lose fast in the beginning though and then it slows down a bit.

I know long term weight loss results from small lifestyle changes though. And that's my goal. :)

Here's to being a size 6 again!

Open House - The kitchen

My friend Elissa thought I should share my bedroom since I have been having sex so much hahaha But its a mess so here's my kitchen.

Barney and I redid the kitchen like I mentioned, last year. I'm pretty proud of it... not that its super nice or anything but there's alot of our blood sweat and tears in there!

I have always been a country girl, and have a warm inviting country kitchen is important to me. So I painted the walls a warm buttery yellow and hung barn stars all over. :) I also have a chair rail on the one empty wall with a darker blue color painted underneath. So it's a warm cozy country blue and yellow space for me!

The patch on the ceiling is from a repair the hubs did, that he's still working on.





I have small closet in the kitchen with a stackable washer dryer... I love vintage looking signs so this hangs above that closet door.




Lastly I share a few pics of the counter tops.. which I love to occupy with Salmon Falls Stoneware. Its a local stoneware company and the patterns are gorgeous!

After Sex Deep Thoughts - 2nd edition

Ah yes folks, it was that time of the week again when my hubs and I cuddle up in bed, and do it.

Unlike last week, my thought process was not disturbed by an inquiry on the nutritional value of potatoes, but was instead accompanied by the quiet gentle breathing of a zonked out man creature....

Last night I contemplated my divorce... no no.. not from my hubs... the divorce from hubs number one.

Yup, there was a number one.... we were married at the tender age of 21...WTF was I thinking?

Dan and I met my freshman year in college (before I dropped out to live with him). We were both 19. He was still a virgin and was eager to copulate. haha I had never been in a relationship due to aforementioned high school chubbiness so I was excited to have someone like me.

Actually I was still chubby when I met him.. ok ok, I was more like ginormous.. but he had a thing for Big and beautiful so it worked.

He wasn't a catch though ladies.. no he was kind of a bum. He'd never gone to college, lived in a 400 square foot studio apartment, and worked at Taco Bell.

But I was fat, and I was desperate to not be alone... so we made a perfect pair.

We went through many struggles.. he had issues with money... well basically he was down right irresponsible with money. He'd almost been evicted until I stepped in and bailed him out with my credit cards. He then cheated on me about 8 months later which was a devastation to my young heart. We worked through it though... chalking it up to him ont wanting to never experience another girl because he'd wanted to marry me (I totally fell for that one, sucker).

By our one year anniversary we'd gotten engaged to the horror of my poor parents. They knew he wasn't right for me, but a girl has to make her own mistakes.

We were married in 2000. We had a huge wedding at a castle on top of a mountain over looking Lake Winnapausaukee. It was medieval themed... the bridesmaids wore wench dresses and everything.

There were so many things that led to our demise. One of them being that we ended up working together managing a restaurant. He was a lazy SOB and I pretty much ended up busting my ass to keep the business running while he spent his shift reading the paper and sitting on a stool.

He was lazy around the house too... I would spend hours cleaning the house while he sat on his ass not even caring about the effort I put in. I'm not saying all men have to clean to be worthy, but at least offer to help ya know?? or maybe even say thank you???

He was unmotivated as far as his career was concerned also. I was back in night school at this point and was trying to finish up my BS degree. I had convinced him finally to go to school for Computer Science, only to find out a few months later that instead of attending classes, he was getting in his car, parking behind the gas station across the street, and reading the paper until I went to work and he could sneak back into the house..... fucking dick.

He also had a severe porn/internet addiction. I'm not anti porn.. heck everyone likes to watch it from time to time right? hahaha But he was obsessed... and I often found things on my computer that were disgusting. And he also liked to pretend to be a woman and talk to men online???? Whatevs... if you swing that way fine, but be willing to admit it... and he never would. (still won't)

I remember the night I realized I wasn't in love with him anymore. I laid in bed in thinking about us, and our relationship and how unhappy I was. In a truthful self realization, I thought to myself... would I be upset if he died??? Not really...I'd be releived. That was the end for me.

Admist all of these events, I had gone on a really big diet. I started running.... and within 10 months time, I had lost 135 lbs. which means I weighed 135 lbs... Folks, I was suddenly hot... something I had never ever been. And I was working on a college campus.... getting lots of attention from many a young hot frat boy.

Hubs and I had just finished grocery shopping at Wally world...and that's when I threw out my proposition. I wasn't strong enough yet to break his heart, so I thought maybe we could work out a compromise. I was eager to meet new people...ahhh men.... so I asked him if we could have an open relationship. I figured he'd go for it since he was obsessed with sex, and perhaps he'd meet someone new and I could leave without feeling so guilt. And maybe I could sew some wild oats along the way....

And that's exactly what I did.

I had a fling with a frat boy in the basement of the restaurant I worked at, a top a pile of unopened pizza boxes.

I also hooked up with the the most beautiful boy that worked for me.. he was 19..tall, dark skinned and Greek. A Greek adonis if you will... and without a doubt the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen in person. His name was Markos... just saying his name still makes me salivate. Sadly he was planning on attending seminary school after graduating college... but hooking up with a married lady made him second guess himself and he later decided not to go to seminary. I'm surely going to hell for that one.

I met a few guys online that I had flings with... including one incredibly hot black man that I had to stop seeing because his penis was so large it practically killed me.

And sadly, I also had an affair with a married man I knew. That is perhaps the single largest regret I have in my life. I cared for him.. but he was married. I wasn't a Christian at that time... and I guess you could say I was young, stupid and extremely selfish. If I could turn back time, that is the one thing in my life I would reverse. Thankfully the affair ended the first time I laid eyes on my new hubs.

I pray to God everyday for forgiveness.

As a side note, when I asked Dan for a divorce, he cried of course... as did I. But he asked me if we could have sex once last time. I said no of course, but that just goes to show where his heart was... dick.


I was still married when I met Barney. I had finally asked for a divorce, but I was in no rush to file the paperwork or get the ball rolling because ex hubs and I were still sharing our apartment.. it was financially easier for us both and were still cordial enough to one another to remain friends.

After Barney and I had our first date, and I knew he wasn't just going to be another sexual fling, I went to the court house the next day to get the paperwork and I filled. Within a few months the divorce was final and Barney and I celebrated by going out to dinner. He was excited that I was finally all his.

My divorce wasn't messy per say, but I surely didn't go about it in the best way. I wish I had done it in a more proper manner.. without stringing the ex along for so long. In the end however, our divorce was his fault. Had he not be such a lying creepy sex deviant, I'd have stayed married to him simply because I took our vows seriously. But he was a liar and a deviant... so I left.

And I'm glad I did. Because like I've mentioned before, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone but Barney... and now I have my beautiful little Rowan.

Life is good.....

Oh, I was also fired for all my flings with the frat boys that worked for me.... probaby the best thing that could have happened to me. It got my butt out of the food service industry and gave me the courage and motivation to start a career.

I am a planner.

Oh yes... a planner for sure. Whenever we go places with groups of friends, I'm always the one handing out itineraries lol

And folks, its that time of year again when I start planning Rowan's birthday party! It's crazy to think she's going to be three!!! THREE THREE THREE!!!!

Over the last few weeks she's gone through another explosion of growth and development. She's definitly starting to act more like a three year old and less like a two year old. It is both fun and sad at the same time. I love how much she can talk to us now... She remembers most of what happens in her life and tells us stories about things often. It's a ton of fun.

Anyhoodle... back to the party. I am having it at the Children's Museum of NH again this year. I really love it there and its so much fun for all the kids that come. I thought I was going to have to have a smaller one at home this because our finances and my work situation, but alas, Grammy Tate came shining thorugh and has offered to pay for it as her gift, because she feels Rowan has far to many toys... (I'm going to have to agree with that one).

Its been booked for her exact birthday, which happens to land on a Saturday this year. The theme will not be princesses, or tinkerbelle like I had been going for.. but instead.... it will be Disney's Cars.... yup folks.. race cars. Ugghhhh. But I let her pick her own theme at the party store and that's what she wanted... she really loves that movie and since her Daddy is a racecar driver it seems to be in her blood... It should be interesting when I make her cake and try to find some way of incorporating pink into it hahahahaha

Open House - The Couch

Exciting eh? I'm sure you wanted to learn everything there is to know about my couch hahaha But lets take a closer look. (please don't stare at the crumbs on the rug, I hadn't vacuumed yet haha).

You obviously can see my lap top hanging out on my rather scratched up coffee table... When my pug was a puppy he thought the top of the brand new Pier One coffee table we'd purchased was a playground for him. His little pug nails massacred my gorgeous new table. I vow someday to strip the finish, sand it down, and restore it it to it's original glory.

Hanging on the side of the couch there is a quilt. I made that quilt.. by hand, a few years ago. When I say by hand I mean that I did not use a sewing machine at all. Every block is handed sewed, and the back was all sewn on by hand also. It was a labor of love.. but that quilt will be handed down someday to my child...to snuggle under with her future children some day.

On the side table there is a pile of yarn and a half finished afghan. That is for my little sister's birthday in February. I've been working on it for about a week or so now and I'm pretty impressed with how far along its come. I thought for sure I would struggle to finish it by Feb but I'm nearly done. :)


Now you can't see them well in this picture, but if yo scroll down to the picture of the entire living room, you will see three canvases hanging above my couch. These paintings were also done by me. I painted them specifically to match my living room, hence the reds and yellows. I love them even though they are simple. They give my home that warm cozy feeling I love. They never seem to stay straight however and i have to readjust them often. I've had them now for about 6 years... wow.. that's a long time.





Now in this picture you will again see my pile of yarn. But also my Van Gogh print. I love love love Van Gogh. I have his art hung around my home in many places. This is one of my favorites... and I think it matches my decor nicely.